"If u can read this it isn't broken"

I received some very sad news last night. A very dear person I knew is no more. And although I had come to expect the unexpected from her, this was one thg. I wasnt prepared for. I spent the night feeling very angry – livid at the unfairness of it all. I can’t believe that a car trip and a wrong move is all it took to take away a name I had come to rely on. One stupid act and its all over.

As selfish as it sounds I wasn’t ready for this. This was not the time to go. You should have been more careful; if not for your sake then for the sake of those who loved you. I went back to all the talks we had, the last time we met. I was so worried about the distant future; scared about what will happen in the coming year and you were the one consoling me telling me all would be fine. But it isn’t now is it!

I hate it that I never got the chance to say good bye. But then what would have I said anyway. I went back to our shopping trip; our coffee/chai meets; the time you hurt your hand; the time I fell ill; the compliments we never exchanged; the thank yous that were left unsaid; the coworker bashings we both enjoyed; in short I went back to everything.

I will miss the comfort of knowing that no matter what you are there. I will also miss the assurity that no matter what I said in a fight the next day everything would be back to normal. I will miss our fights.

You took my tantrums well and I never thanked you for that. Did you know I really respected your intelligence? That your sheepish grin was cute. That you were criticized for your approach at work but that was what I liked the most about you. Your insecurities I understood, your enthusiam I tried to emulate. Enough said. Please be at peace whrevr u are and yes thank you for everything.

-S/PB/M/G/A