Titles are overrated. Cant think of one.

What if you were told you had only 3-4 healthy years ahead? What would you do? Would you be in the same relationship you are in? Would you stay in the same job? Would you live in the same house? Are there people you would call on more often or are there people you would avoid? Would you be more thankful of the time you have or would you turn cynical with each passing day? What choices would you make? Ask yourself - what would you do differently and then do it.

Anyway, I thought to pen down a few of life's lessons and many do's and don'ts (some from my experience, some from experiences of those around me).

1. The best people for you are the ones who bring out the best in you. Don't let them go.
2. We need atleast one person in our lives who thinks we are superman! :)
3. If you can still smile when thinking about it - it was worth it.
4. Never love too well.
5. Trust your instinct- always.
6. Drink lots of water.
7. Nobody worth possessing can be quite possessed. (borrowed from some famous dudette)
8. Dress up. Everyday.
9. Money doesnt buy happiness but it rents it well. :)
10. Exercise.
11. Sleep under the open skies once.
12. Give a baby a bath.
13. Go swim in the sea once.
14. Get yourself a dog, love it dearly.
15. Do something uncharacterstic of your own self some time.
16. Buy yourself a gift- celebrate your own success.
17. Watch a movie alone. Its liberating- in a weird way.
18. Get soaked in the rain. Enjoy it and dont run for shelter.
19. Go on a long drive with someone you enjoy a conversation with.
20. Laugh loudly.
21. Text friends- lots.
22. Confess your love.
23. Admit your follies to yourself and then forgive.
24. Tell someone they are your hero!
25. Listen to mummy.
26. Confide in someone.
27. Write your thoughts and revisit them months later. Its fun to get reintroduced to your own self of a decade back.
28. Play the fool sometime.
29. Dance with abandon.
30. Buy me a teddy bear.
31. Go picnicing.
32. Leave your worries by the pillowside.
33. Listen to someone else's collection of music.
34. Explore. Travel. Learn. And yes, try the local cuisine.
35. Play sports. esp. basket ball (and avoid cricket).
36. Forgive and don't carry a grudge.
37. Fight the establishment.
38. Be true to your own self.
39. At a party make conversation with the one who looks the most lost/lonely.
40. Never make anyone feel small.
41. Read comic books.
42. Never drag a dead relationship. Or hold on to someone who isnt there.
43. Tried and tested by almost all I know : If you love someone let them go. if they come back, they are yours, if not they never will be.
44. Never trust a man fully who lies to his own mother.
45. Keep the faith.
46. Cultivate the art of writing and reading
47. If someone gives you a compliment- donot contradict. Accept it. Graciously.
48. Read a holy book.
49. Spend a day without looking at the watch. Just keep your own time.
50. Learn some jokes.
51. Sing.
52. Be the life of the party.
53. Never apologise for your tears or your feelings.
54. Study hard.
55. Get up early in the morning.
56. Watch the sun rise once with someone you love.
57. Once, just once, love lavishly someone more than they love you.
58. Succeed graciously and lose admirably. Hate losing.
59. Give compliments.
60. Never let a few rupees keep you from doing what you want to do.
61. Dare I say- splurge once in a while :)
62. Write letters.
63. Be organised.
64. Stand up for what you believe in. Never compromise on what you believe in.
65. Find yourself a passion.
66. Take a break from it all.
67. Smile and let it reach your eyes.
68. Say good morning cheerfully. Mean it.

Give title, win reward

Right now, I don't have anything to say. But since when has that stopped me from talking to you.

Okay so got the first para down. First paragraph kahan hai?- you ask. Sir jii, upar hai. Two lines do a para make (err or some thing like that.) Still the question remains what should I talk about? Mature topics like Union Budget (papa paise bhejo, stock market mein nuksaan ho gaya), global recession (and how long will we have to wait before asking for a raise) etc. come to mind. But then who am I kidding! For a person whose sole source of daily news is the facebook status updates of overzealous high-IQ friends such topics can safely be ignored.

I mean I am sure loads can (and will) be written on Federer beating u-know-who and winning u-know-what and breaking u-know-'em records; but let’s leave it to those who care. I am as much interested in Federer's win as you would be in estimating the length of Kareena Kapoor's hemline in Kambhakt Ishq or evaluating the sociological psychological impact of legalised lesbian weddings on young teen age boys in Bihar and South Delhi.

Did you see Khambhakt Ishq by the way? Awesome movie. A definite must watch. It is sooo shweeet. Akshay keeps making cute crass jokes and Kareena keeps pretending she can act. Between the two, they display all prominent fashion labels and make you realize good fashion is not to wear anything too much - make up, clothes - sab kam se kam hone chaiye. Barely-there types. The songs are any music lover's delight and you would want to fast forward err rewind each and every one of them. So make sure you catch it today- even if it means bunking a client call, leaving the office before your boss or ignoring your girl friends' calls.

Btw have you ever done that? Leaving the office before your boss, that is. That brings me to another question: Have you ever worked in a 'La-la' company? These days, post placements at ISB, we are all busy exchanging notes on who got the cooler laptop, stupider boss and grosser coworkers. Sometimes we also talk about our roles as well and how much strategic impact will we be making to the company, its bottomline, its clients, its customers, the Indian economy and the world at large. (We are all not that petty all the time you know.)

Anyhoo (I like this word. Anyhoo. Say it aloud in your mind. Stress on the hoo part. Hold the ‘oo’ longer than 2 seconds. Doesn't it make you smile? No. Well okay it must be just me then. I find ‘anyhoo’ cute.) Any hoo, while making these comparisons and comparing notes sometimes a phrase crops up. 'Meri toh Lala company hai yaar, damn it'. The speaker with a pained look etched on his face looks around for support and comfort – much like I did while watching Kambhakt Ishq (mast movie hai, dekhna zaroor). Immediately concerned voices come up with stuff like:

Stuff 1:(confessional 'me-too same-boat-sailing' counseling) "Yarr meri bhi" and both start comparing the lala-ness of their respective companies and we watch waiting for the bigger lala to emerge victorious.

Stuff 2:(motivational 'recession-going soon, resume banai-ing, job badal-ing, yaar’ counseling) Economist is quoted and so is Wall Street Journal (Well, not really. Simply because we assume whatever our analysis is, it must match the experts. And if it doesn't, we are positive they will correct their misjudgements soon.) The discussion then veers to resume rebuilding tips, cursing placement season, are there news jobs in the market, cursing placement season, how we should renetwork again, cursing placement season, debating when recession will get over, cursing placement season. Incase you haven’t figured out my contribution in all such discussions is - yes you got it- cursing placement season.

Stuff 3: (mocking 'Really!-how unfortunate-my company is great-check my latest blackberry-company ne diya hai' counseling) Yes, sometimes someone comes up with that and it is always greeted by cold stone silence, awkward glances, shaking of heads, an occasional disapproval cough, clandestine abusive smses aimed at the speaker and few ‘oh-hmmms’. We all 'hmmm' to this monologue and then move on to topics that are slightly less apealing than KK's hemlines. But yes, the damage is done. Mental notes are made and exchanged that this guy shouldn’t be invited to the next meet. People try to recollect who got the bozo here in the first place. Silently the group stares at the unfortunate dude and he squirms, avoids eye contact for the rest of the evening. Typical in-group/outgroup thing this is.*

But ain’t I digressing. My original question was: Have you worked for a ‘lala company’? ‘La-la’ here is not the truncated ‘tra –la-la’ of the Buffalo Soldier song. The'Lala' here is…

Shh …cant talk now. Zoom TV (‘isko dekho’ tagline wala ) is playing suuperhit Kambhakt Ishq’s most melodious song of 2009 – Bebo Main Bebo. Have to watch this. Will continue the ‘lala’ post later.

Bebo main bebo..dil mera le lo.. la-la-la-lala..la-la-la lala

*will explain the ‘ingroup-outgroup’ phenomena later.**

** Bebo ki song aa rahi hai yaar abhi. Dekhne de.

GCS and 10 cents philosophy- Part 2

Refer part 1.

I have decided to hex up (ahemm) the tag. If you don't do it soon, you will be spammed silly by zealous co workers, your mother will get on your case about your sleeping habits, soccer will be dominated by a single club, Yuvraj will drop all sitters in the next 10 matches and you will fall in love. The last one trust me is one of the worst things that can happen to you. Dont ask me why, ask Chaos who said so.

To make things easier here is my list of 50 things I am thankful for.

Below stuff + moi life = Thank you thank you thank you

Incase you missed going to world's top 15 bschool (showcasing ISB!) and didnt get the above equation, let me simplify.

The stuff mentioned below plus my life equals to 3 thank yous. There hope you get it now.

Oh you did go to my ISB! Let me further simplify the equation given above. The list that is given below contains things mentioned in a point wise linear manner. These things individually or in group or both are present or were present in my life at some point in time. The period of time of their existence is irrelevant information and can be ignored for the purpose of today's dicussions. The time factor is like sunk cost. Remember first term, Accounting 101, Prof. Mohan's class. Anyway these things ( present individually or in group or both ) err me am thankful for. If the explanation doesn't make much sense remember I am from ISB too.

Stuff:

1. google
2. plastic money
3. high heels
4. lip gloss
5. missed calls dena
6. P. G. Wodehouse
7. My masseuse
8. hot chicken tikkas served with onion salad, lemon wedges and chilled coke
9. a fully loaded big pricey car
10. transparent/white nail paint
11. my favourable first impressions
12. Elizabeth Arden’s Splendor (she doesnt make it anymore :( )
13. cartoons - calvin and hobbes/tom and jerry/ he man
14. combo offer: evening time + breeze + long aimless drives with him
15. combo offer: rainy evenings + chai + friends
16. friends that forgive me for forgetting their birthdays
17. Plain naans (what I order everytime I go out to eat)
18. people who let me crib and those who encourage it
19. dev anand + kishore kumar jodi
20. My rationalization skills
21. texting + smileys
22. pocket money
23. to do lists
24. happy endings
25.being snooty
26. vacationing
27. Masala Omelette + Buttered Toast + Mixed fruit jam on the side + Tea
28. 40s, 50s and 60s hindi film music
29. winning the ‘ovarian lottery’
30. the book on my night stand
31. Sinefeld and similar comedies
32. fast elevators
33. Ctrl C + Ctrl V and ofcourse ctrl Z
34. opposable thumbs :P
35.chocolates + choco chip icecreams
36. fluffy pillows, softy mattresses, my blankie and sweet dreams
37. people who love me for who I am and the ones who tried their best to
38. for the truth in the dictum : Time heals
39. tissue papers
40.Hope

I know the list stops at 40. the next 10 will be published after collating all your responses. So people "write"!!! and please be quick about it.

Grilled chicken sandwich and 10 cents philosophy

I stood on the seventh floor balcony of a high rise today waiting for my grilled chicken sandwich (from here on acronymed as GCS) dinner. The city lights looked dazzling. There weren’t any high rises blocking my view and I could see numerous homes, small shops, busy roads all lit up bright. I stood facing the airport and I saw a plane land and another takeoff. Turning right at a distance, I had the Hussain Sagar with its necklace road and to my left was a good friend with misguided tastes in food. I mean watermelon juice with GCS! My stout refusal to drink that stuff didn't go down that well till I explained my eating mantra: always stick with stuff that fattens you up. Nothing that's healthy ever tastes nice. If you don’t believe me try sprouts, soya nuggets and goat milk. I have never tried the last one and I am quite positive it would be an enjoyable experience for you. Let me know how did it go.

Standing there looking at the city, I felt the standard cliched emotions that we feel sometimes while waiting for our GCS and wondering what drink our friends are ordering for us. I could spy a small section of a busy road and could see plethora of vehicles rushing through to wherever they were supposed to be. I focused on the same and wondered what the man on the scooter that just zipped by was thinking? Or why was that car in such a rush?

I wondered rather predictably - how each and every of the myriad lights in front of me denoted a human life as intricate and complex as mine. How each of those people would be so wrapped up in their daily struggle for survival that they would never take time to ponder on the irrelevance of it all. How maybe they had for a moment thought about the irrelevance but then chose to move on. How we carefully everyday nurture our illusion that we are in command of what happens to us. How we fret away the present for the future. How losing love is heart breaking because we simply assume that we will live forever and in that long life this person will be missed everyday. And how fooled are we by randomness. I contemplated my insignificance in the grand scheme of things and wondered how much more time will my GCS take to get ready?

Then fifteen minutes and half a GCS later I thought what makes all this brilliant is that I am experiencing it. It is the ‘I’ that makes it so. Maybe all my emotions are cliched and all my thoughts are trivial. But the fact that I experienced the world with them makes the world what it is. This is my story, my song and no matter how I chose to live it – the fact that I do makes all the difference.

Immediately following this thought was the realization that this is too cliched. I mean scare some one a little, make them face their mortality and everyone becomes a philosopher for 15 minutes. The transiency of these emotions made me decide to hold on to them for little longer. So then came the next round of expected affectations. “Lets be grateful for what we have”.

And this is what I want to blog about. :)

So please identify 10 things you are thankful for. I am tagging you. It is a tag so you gotta do it otherwise for/over the next 10 days - your land lord will evict you, you lover will dump you, you will be forced through sit for long boring meetings with no coffee or gtalk, you will never find an empty cab when you need one and whenever you switch on a music channel you will only catch music of Himesh bhai. And lets not make it standard stuff like mummy papa nana nani dada dadi bhaiya bhabhi pinky and phrens. Get creative, people!

Oye its friday! Psych

Okay okay so no more stories. Stop with the hate mail already! I had no idea so many people in my life were literary critics. To A, all I can say is "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." I say this while silently wiping the tears that are swelling up. So sadly my dear trusted reader I bid adieu to the magical world of story telling and move back to familiar grounds of commenting on life and the many (I wanted to type : morons. masti mein yaar. I will use mammals instead) mammals (Insider workplace joke hai. You had to be there.) who grace it.

But as my swan song, here is the last story telling post. Its more on the sublime genre and definitely nuttier than my other posts. So don't say I didn't warn you. I apologise in advance. Not that I really care:)

The story begins.

“Standing alone bare, broken, I longed for a dark crevice to hide my shame, to sink deep in some abyss, maybe a bottom less pit. To disappear from his presence. His wrath or disenchantment : I know not what I fear more. Long after my time has passed I stand there. Acknowledged are the squandered minutes and the unholy hours. The frittered time stung like a bee. The promises made at the onset came back as a long forgotten dream that was always there in my subconscience. Drunk on the necatar of life - the good I could do; how as eager as a child was I to start on my own solitude. And then somehow in the journey that lasted but a second in the temporal plane, I lost sight of you and my own self. Interspersed among fleeting pleasures, golden moments all leading to hell, the darkest days that were but a test; were a few precious seconds spent within my own self. I silently bow my head, naked as I stand. Forgiveness I seek nought as my tongue wont take my side. Shameful and sorrowful at all the oportunities lost, I repent and beg to be sent back – for a chance that I know I wont get. The dice has been cast.”

"Well, poorly said. I think you tried too hard. keep it simple next time. And I don't believe in God still. Please pass me my drink and take your religious mumbo jumbo and judgement day stories elsewhere"

The story ends.

Picasso ka dost kaun?

Picasso ka dost kaun? Batao. Batao. Ya phir Van Gogh ka? Nahin pata naa. Socho Mozart ka? Ya Beethoven ka? I now realise why these greats never have BFF (best friends forever, duh!).

Imagine Picasso as a budding painter. He would have his own personal space where he would put up his sketches/paintings (s/p) for everyone to see. Then just like an excited child who finally gets 9/10 in handwriting from grumpy Mrs Jones and runs home to show mommy the report card, he (Picasso not the child) would call his friend on the phone. Hey naya painting banaya hai. check karo and comment, he would say. I presume.

And then that so called friend in about an hour would call back and proceed to criticise every damn thing about Picasso's s/p. Brush strokes sahi nahin hain. Colours ache nahin hai. You should have used blue. And why are all your paintings about horses? (wait am I thinking of Picasso dada ya apne hussain miya) And finally the closing: Get a life yaar. Kya paintings banana roz roz.

And there in that one phone call, Picasso ka career shuru hone se pehle behrehmi se khatam kar diya jata hai. All in the name of constructive open feedback.

Isilliye Picasso ke koi friends nahin the. Aur isiliye Picasso became so great!

Samjhe!

hmmm

So I chanced upon this sentence today - epic heroes were judged by their actions, not by the results. Reminded me of certain lines I once read as a child

"When the great scorer comes to mark against your name,
He writes not whether u won or lost
but how u played the game."

Athough these lines seem very upliftingly noble I am afraid that I donot completely believe in them anymore. History evaluates you on one parameter and one parameter alone - Did you win the game? After all who writes history if not the winners? Honourable men who fail may find a mention in its footnotes but it is the men who succeed..who win wars..who create nation..who move generations-that make the front cover of Time (mag. if u will). We cherish those who made 'something' of themselves. We strive to do the same. Everyone of us, in every way, is aiming to succeed. The battles may be different but the ultimate war is the same. :)

Anyway that reminds me of another (un)related aspect. Should you suffer in silence or raise a ruckus? Should you be gentle and sober/ dignified to the last or should you go down fighting/crying/being a pain in the butt till the very end? :) Well to each his own but i rber watching an Oprah show in which they had organised a mock showdown for the audience. When certain audience members came in they were denied entrance and were told that their show tickets were for a later show. Unknown to them, their actions were being taped. Most accepted the person's statement and decided to leave. But a few ranted and raved, created a ruckus and no they werent very dignified about it. Then a psychologist later on the show analysed the tapes and said it is the latter who will make it big in life ..who will (vaguely i rber) if on a drowning boat get the last life jacket :)

So i guess sometimes in life raising a hue and cry is not such a bad thg after all.

Dream,dare and run

i was running ..running panting running completely out of breath ..oh if only i cud stop and take a few breaths..but it was soo near..so preciously near and i just cudnt cudnt bear to wait any longer..it had anyway taken so long and now i cud almost touch it .. it was so near that i cud smell it too and i knew it in my bones that it was just a hair breath away.. the very thot that i wud get it finally after so much of praying and hoping and fighting made me nearly stop and smile..the journey itself was so ardously long and now if i get it even the most terrible of days wont seem so bad after all..yeah just there...come on just a lil more ..there..almost there
for once i think i touched it ...felt it almost brush thru my fingers ..even with all the sweat and panting and heat a tingle went down my spine..and then it happened ..i tripped ..didnt see the that stone on the way ..was i not looking at the road or ...the stone wasnt there last time..ateast i dont rber it ...was it recentlly placed ? but by whom...At the moment that i was falling even before i hit the ground i knew it was gone ..it wasnt meant to be..still i wanted it ..i cudnt lose..i mean how cud i ..in the entire scheme of thgs i had not thot abt losing even once..i had just assumed tat if i wanted it enuff it wud come to me..thats how it was supposed to be.how the hell cud i not get it ..after all those God damn years ..as the blood trickled to the ground it was these thot that made me stand..i saw it ..it looked distant but cudnt i still reach it..maybe with a lil more effort ..maybe i will get a break for once..god is just testing..its in times like this u mustnt quit..go on ..go on ..try ..just get up and run ..i dont know from where my soul summoned the will and my body responded but up i was ..up and running ..i think i caught up a lil..the last i remember ..when i fell again my eyes were not on it ..they were closed as if praying for a miracle..i mean how cud i not get it ..wasnt it meant to be..

years pass..each more futile than the other..i saw so many ppl running and it hurt the most when they fell at the same exact spot..no it didnt..it used to ..but after some time..i just laughed at them..foolish ppl dont know any better..cant u see the bloody stone right in front of u ..such morons really..dont u know u r not suposed to run after it..nobody gets it..thats the whole point isnt it..thats what makes it special ..and yea if i didnt get it after so much of my life that i put into it ..u as hell for sure cant

and then the unthinkable happened ..one day i heard..some1 caught it ..they had it ..i refused to believe..it cant be..show me..u dont know who was it exactly! HA! so u think u can make a fool out of me..it cant be had..better men than u have tried and failed so just go away ..just look at it from a distance and dont u dare think about catching it

years later.i am now not what i used to be.. bitter hardened and cynical but i still go down the same road ..some times ..dont ask why..i havent seen it since that evening ..when i see the spot that i first fell i can still close my eyes and smell it..see it was right here..just let me close my eyes and see this is how it felt like..it still feels so near..a tear run downs my cheek i open my eyes and there it is ..i blank out..close my eyes again..hate these mirages ..i have imagined it everywhere for quite some time now..open my eyes again..its still there ..ITS STILL THERE ..my heart beat just starts galloping..i am back in the same moment of 10 yrs ago..what do i do? do i run..i will lose again i know it i can feel it i have never won anythg since that evening ..i know i will lose ..dont do it..it took u ten years to get over that 1 evening ..dont do it..walk away..it is just tempting you ..testing you ..just walk away

i close my eyes and

i run.........