Heartbreak advices

Oyes! For the heart broken/ loveless/ ditched/ woebegone people here is some revenge advice that helps. I haven't tried any but others swear by it.

1. If you can't get her to love you, try her best friend.
There is nothing that pricks a girl more than to have her ex romance her best friend. And while you are at it, do all the stuff she (ur ex) wanted you to do (but you never did) like listen for hours, pay for shopping, cut your nails, watch Oprah, be nice etc.

2. Go on a world tour.
Two advantages: One, you get to see the world. (Rise above this revenge shit sometime.) Two, your ex now realizes you were actually loaded and no one likes to feel they let the 'hen that had the potential to lay the golden egg' get away.
Problem: Well, what if she was the 'hen that had the potential to lay the golden egg' of the relatinship. Simply put, what if you are broke. Hmm.

3. Marry
You avoided commiting to her for days/months/ years. But when she dumped you within 2 weeks you were all hooked up and looking for a 2bhk (with airy balcony) love nest. Trust me, she will go mad trying to figure out the answers to the age old questions "Was it my fault all along? What's wrong with me?"
Problem: Getting someone to agree to marry you. hmmm.

4. Go hit the clubs with 'happening' 'hep' people
As a gujju aunty I know says: very hape people go to my club. Find these hape people. Hang around with them. Go to clubs. Act as if you are having the time of your life. Get clicked. And then somehow figure out a way for your ex to see these snaps. Nothing irritates more than to have the person you hurt act as if nothing happened.

5. Date a super model or a hotter girl
If you need explanation for this point, I am going to side with your ex, you dumbo.

More such pearls coming up soon.

For the really heart broken ones, here's stuff I recommend:

1. Talk it out with your BFF.

2. Pick a hobby.

3. Rationalise.
Example:
a) I am so nearly perfect. I can't obviously be wrong. So the problem must be with him. What a loser.
b) In the end everything happens for the best. This is good for me. Something great is about to happen. I can feel it.
c) If he were that great why was he with me. umm wait something is not right. If he were that great whats he doing with HER!
d) I hated his mother/ his style (He didn't even have any!)/ his moronic sense of humour/ his friends/ etc. good riddance.
e) He is dating her! That settles it. He is got to be a pervert.
f) I anyway found his friend cuter. Wonder what's that guy is doing this weekend.

4. Have a good cry. And if you are like my friend A, make that have a good MANY MANY cries.

5. Realise that "The best revenge is to LIVE WELL."

More later.