Dream,dare and run

i was running ..running panting running completely out of breath ..oh if only i cud stop and take a few breaths..but it was soo near..so preciously near and i just cudnt cudnt bear to wait any longer..it had anyway taken so long and now i cud almost touch it .. it was so near that i cud smell it too and i knew it in my bones that it was just a hair breath away.. the very thot that i wud get it finally after so much of praying and hoping and fighting made me nearly stop and smile..the journey itself was so ardously long and now if i get it even the most terrible of days wont seem so bad after all..yeah just there...come on just a lil more ..there..almost there
for once i think i touched it ...felt it almost brush thru my fingers ..even with all the sweat and panting and heat a tingle went down my spine..and then it happened ..i tripped ..didnt see the that stone on the way ..was i not looking at the road or ...the stone wasnt there last time..ateast i dont rber it ...was it recentlly placed ? but by whom...At the moment that i was falling even before i hit the ground i knew it was gone ..it wasnt meant to be..still i wanted it ..i cudnt lose..i mean how cud i ..in the entire scheme of thgs i had not thot abt losing even once..i had just assumed tat if i wanted it enuff it wud come to me..thats how it was supposed to be.how the hell cud i not get it ..after all those God damn years ..as the blood trickled to the ground it was these thot that made me stand..i saw it ..it looked distant but cudnt i still reach it..maybe with a lil more effort ..maybe i will get a break for once..god is just testing..its in times like this u mustnt quit..go on ..go on ..try ..just get up and run ..i dont know from where my soul summoned the will and my body responded but up i was ..up and running ..i think i caught up a lil..the last i remember ..when i fell again my eyes were not on it ..they were closed as if praying for a miracle..i mean how cud i not get it ..wasnt it meant to be..

years pass..each more futile than the other..i saw so many ppl running and it hurt the most when they fell at the same exact spot..no it didnt..it used to ..but after some time..i just laughed at them..foolish ppl dont know any better..cant u see the bloody stone right in front of u ..such morons really..dont u know u r not suposed to run after it..nobody gets it..thats the whole point isnt it..thats what makes it special ..and yea if i didnt get it after so much of my life that i put into it ..u as hell for sure cant

and then the unthinkable happened ..one day i heard..some1 caught it ..they had it ..i refused to believe..it cant be..show me..u dont know who was it exactly! HA! so u think u can make a fool out of me..it cant be had..better men than u have tried and failed so just go away ..just look at it from a distance and dont u dare think about catching it

years later.i am now not what i used to be.. bitter hardened and cynical but i still go down the same road ..some times ..dont ask why..i havent seen it since that evening ..when i see the spot that i first fell i can still close my eyes and smell it..see it was right here..just let me close my eyes and see this is how it felt like..it still feels so near..a tear run downs my cheek i open my eyes and there it is ..i blank out..close my eyes again..hate these mirages ..i have imagined it everywhere for quite some time now..open my eyes again..its still there ..ITS STILL THERE ..my heart beat just starts galloping..i am back in the same moment of 10 yrs ago..what do i do? do i run..i will lose again i know it i can feel it i have never won anythg since that evening ..i know i will lose ..dont do it..it took u ten years to get over that 1 evening ..dont do it..walk away..it is just tempting you ..testing you ..just walk away

i close my eyes and

i run.........